Bangkok... Phuket

I've been pretty busy lately. Ashley came to visit, and we traveled to Bangkok. Why Bangkok? A few people I talked to said that Thailand was incredible. Perhaps too reliant on the casual advice of others, I booked the tickets to Bangkok. Before I could finish the in-flight movie Baby Mama, Ash and I were in Bangkok, fully unprepared.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. We had a tip to stay at a cheap hostel, Suk 11, with lots of writing on the wall. Once we had shelter out of the way, food and clothing were our next priorities for survival. I ate crickets and other cheap street food ("street" meaning sold by vendors).

As for clothing and other purchases/sightseeing, it was pretty cheap, but we had to be careful not to get scammed--which we did, by this tuk-tuk driver who told us that the Grand Palace was closed (which it never is, we later found out). 

 

He got pulled over by the police, who are also in on the tuk-tuk scams, I found out.

Though the tuk-tuk driver took us to a shady jewelry shop, tailor, and gift shop (the gift shop wasn't too shady, but the only reason the driver took us there was because he got a free gas coupon for bringing in customers), he finished off the tour with a trip to the largest standing giant Buddah. As we arrived, a man handed us caged birds, which we set free and were then charged 90 baht for. After that, we should have left Bangkok. If you ever find yourself in Thailand, try Phuket. I did not know this. I traveled to Bangkok on too much of a whim and was unprepared. And though we were going to attend a lecture on the recent protests in Bangkok, our tuk-tuk driver got lost and we lacked the internet/phone/Thai language to help us get a feel of much else regarding the local attitude toward the protests.

And, we were tired and sick. Well, I was sick. I turned into a ghost: 

This city could have just as well been created by a bored, immature 4th grader sitting in Ms. Bloom's computer class playing SimCity 2008: BangCock.  Prostitutes, transvestites, the pointiest buildings imaginable--all crammed together in no order whatsoever.And billboards that all have weird-looking stands like this (it must be a money-saving strategy so that buildings like this can exist right next door): 

"There's gonna be 3-wheelers, taxis (with spoilers), and elephants for transportation," the fourth-grader would say.  "And a king who everyone loves and a president who everyone hates. Food will be dirt cheap. And it will all be my favorite food."

"What is your favorite food?"

"Pizza. No, Indian. No, Chinese. Phuket, we'll have everything."

"Even crickets?"

"Sure. And there will be massage parlors on every street for 300 baht."

"How much is that?"

"I don't know, like 10 bucks."

"Cool."

(End of disturbing cosmogony)